ConfusionHow should I feel?
For the amazing friends I have,
For the family that supports me?
For the people I've lost,
For the life I don't want?
I've been going back and forth on this....
Would removing myself from here,
Be running away from my problems?
Or solve them?
Is this truly better,
Or for everyone else?
I may not show my emotions,
To the people I see everyday,
But that doesn't mean that I don't feel,
This swirling, twisting confusion....
A weird, random,
Hung up on the past, emotional,
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I know who I am,
I know what I need,
I just don't know if this is right...
What Am I?What am I?
Have I developed the very thing I have feared,
The trait I'm running from?
My whole body has turned to ice,
While everything I touch,
Bursts into flames.
Have I gone insane?
Am I now unstable,
Must I live in isolation to protect,
Those I care about?
So many things,
So many things are wrong.
How am I supposed to be a better person,
When I can't even hold my feelings in?
I used to have an abusive personality,
I used to...
At least that's what I think....
I'm still the pessimistic one,
I'm still socially awkward,
And I'm still hurting the people I care about.
What am I?
LeaveWould it just be better,
To leave all of these memories behind,
To be able to start a new life?
It would be good,
I would finally be able to stop crying,
At least about the pain and cruelty given to me,
And I'd be able to live my life,
Share my thoughts, and just have fun,
Without having to worry about,
Whether I'll have to deal with hell at home.
I would be leaving the friends,
That I've become so close to,
And I would never again,
Call this place home...
While the price for leaving,
Is my friends,
The benefit is something that may,
Solve these problems that have tortured me,
For so long...
So how can one start a change,
For the better?